It is OVER!
“It’s over…My career is over.” 
As surreal as it was, this is what I said at trial. We went to trial this week…another horrible chapter in a pathetic legal dispute (the necessity of which is a major personal disappointment in the character of another person I held in higher esteem) over the impact of my injuries. Obviously, my depression, anger and exhaustion is reflected in what I said. I am not sure what the future holds.
Despite the fact that my company has allowed me to return to work part-time (yet paying me full-time) in a job that, compared to previous assignments is akin to watching the grass grow, I am vulnerable. We are going through our second/third major restructuring in less than a year. If rumors are even close to being accurate, we have to separate another 20% of the company. I will not survive….the company has ZERO handicapped managers that I know of; not to mention one requiring physical therapy 3-5 times a week. I can no longer fulfill what I’ve been trained to do, my main management support have elected to retire or are obviously on the verge of doing so and with my medical (physical) condition I’m virtually unemployable! In every scenario I’ve run, I’m bankrupt and we lose our home. This does not end well.
[Note: I don't want to ruin the glimpse one can see of my desperation right after trial. The closure I sought from one part of my life couldn't have eased the pain of going through another vulnerable professional restructuring anyway. This and other notes are preserved to remind myself and anyone else who is interested, that we can and will have bad periods in our lives.]
Tags: accident, depression
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