Only YOU can set your value! Lesson #1
Arguably one of the best boss’ I’ve ever had, taught me one of the most important lessons I’ve learned professionally. It was during an incredibly stressful period of time and he was losing a political battle being waged like nothing he had ever experienced. If you were with or have heard of “the Old Ford culture” you know that what is often described as a culture of “sharp elbows” is a polite way to say one might mistake an ear biting Mike Tyson for Shirley Temple. It was ugly to watch.
I recall seeing how low he was and how it impacted his outlook on just about everything. It was troubling. He was a beaten man and was visibly demoralized.
The fact of the matter was, he wasn’t in the “loop” any longer. He was slowly and methodically being pushed out. He was being ridiculed and he knew it. Of course, it was all in the name of performance. Usually the beauty and fallacy of a myriad of performance metrics (half positive and half negative) is there are enough to paint any story you want…whenever you want. And his managers were painting a pretty negative picture.
He orchestrated his own exit from the situation.
I met him a few months later and we discussed those last few weeks he was my boss. His words stick with me now and are as applicable today as they were for him then. He said “Don’t let ANYONE tell you what your value is. That’s your job.”
It is awfully easy to let a personal spat, a performance review, a downsizing, down-grading, job reshuffling or even a negative verbal comment to make you feel like garbage. Others (without the skill to properly lend constructive criticism or perhaps even the talent to know the value of one priority metric over another), may treat you like your value is less than you believe. Some might even mistakenly draw conclusions based on others evaluations of your value, but that does NOT establish your true value!
March to your own drum. Don’t let someone else set your value. Hear their words, watch their actions, accept their decisions, apply their suggestions….but don’t let it sway your opinion of the value you hold. They are fallible and have every right to be wrong.
We too often let others define our own success. I love the multitude of ranks in the military, the boy scouts and most corporate structures. It helps us have targets to shoot for and ladders to climb (metaphorically). But it is simply a stupid stripe to your 5 year old!
One of the best stories I tell about my daughter was when she was about 10 years old. I had just been promoted back to Detroit from Colorado. It was a big promotion and I was thrilled and excited to tell the family. We’ve moved 8 times, so it wasn’t like the thrill of moving did much for them. So after giving the good news…my daughter sat quietly for a few seconds and then said
“I don’t get it. Why do we have to move back to Detroit?! You are gone all the time anyway….why don’t you just keep coming back here when you come home?”
She didn’t mean to bring a tear to her father…but she has that affect. If only had I listened closer.
The fact of the matter was, she could care less about my rank or job. She only cared about what was important!
Difficult times have silver linings. Look around. Enjoy what really matters! You are the ONLY one who can establish your value.
Tags: Joe Dean, self-worth, Value Proposition
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