17
First Born Bravery
Categories: Pre-Post
Rudy Archuleta for TIME
Much has been said about the impact of an individuals birth order. No one can argue with many similarities and grouping of traits that often accompany individuals birth order. It is almost frightening to see the statistics that support the genetic predispositions we are all granted by virtue of our birth order (if you believe those sorts of things). No one, however, is really predictable and we all have infinite potential to overcome any and all obstacles.
One thing I’ve noticed, however, regarding the experiences of my own family over the past couple of years is the burden/fortune of being the first to go away for college (normally the first born). It really is a major right of passage for teenagers…and to be the first in the household is quite remarkable and potentially stressful. It forces a certain level of bravery that may not have been previously tested and it is a remarkable learning opportunity for the entire family.
- Selection of schools. Depending on location and talents and interests of the student a review of potential college choices could take months (or longer). It is nerve racking to be “interviewed” by college entrance counselors not to mention thousands of other kids in the process.
- Defining wants/needs. It isn’t easy to articulate what you want in a school. It sometimes takes several school visits to nail down what you really like or don’t like about it (setting, atmosphere, resources, etc). Ultimately, you have to decide for yourself which one is the best fit.
- Moving in. The ritual of actually leaving home (even if it is only a short distance away) and moving into a dorm is a really BIG deal. While many kids seem like they are enjoying it a bit too much…don’t underestimate how stressful this process is.
Other siblings get a tremendous benefit for going along for the ride. Being in a position to witness their siblings success and/or failures along the way can help them immensely.
Having just completed a second year with our first-born and starting the college process again this year for #2 (#3 is a year away), I am reminded of the bravery it required for the first one to show the way. Well done!
